David Cameron:The New Billy Graham? And The Perils Of Strategic Thinking.

So the Government's being accused of a lack of strategic thinking. No change there, then. It's not something the last Government were known for either, if I'm honest. And I'm not at all sure what The Boss's strategy with regard to Vicky and Marie-Louise is, either. I'm just hoping that, whatever it is, it'll backfire - just like all his plans do. Eventually.

Bloody Vicky's still driving me and Greg mad, and I do wish she'd shut up about how much her clothes cost. Hasn't she ever heard of austerity? Although she looks a bit like a young Sarah Palin - scary! - her wardrobe's an identikit for Sam Cam's, who also doesn't seem to be shopping at Primark yet.

Talking of the Camerons, I can't help wondering what the PM means when he keeps going on about "Let's all come together." Leaving aside the sexual connotations - just for a minute - he sounds like Billy Graham, which is very worrying what with what's going on in the US with all those evangelical Tea Party campaigners. I can't tell the difference between them and the usual suspects: they all seem equally barking mad to me.

The best-case scenario is probably that David's kindly trying to remind us that sex is free, in the wake of the Spending Review, and to keep us all occupied during what's bound to be another Winter of Discontent.

I suppose I could mention his idea to Max, not that having no money has ever acted as an aphrodisiac in this house. By the time you've opened the bills, and argued about what that mysterious £27.96 point-of-sale transaction was for, you're lucky to be even speaking to each other, let alone feeling remotely amorous.

Mind you, if what Johnny says about he and his wife having grown apart is true, it seems that money's not exactly a guarantee of a good sex-life either. (Unless you're David and Samantha.)

Maybe he should splash out on some contact lenses, just in case it's his clumsiness that's causing the problem. It certainly put me right off when he buggered over and nearly knocked himself out. After all, consciousness is a minimum requirement for half-way decent sex - despite what some men seem to think.

I wonder if being clumsy is an indicator of being crap in bed? Max is awfully dexterous - which isn't necessarily a good thing, now I come to think of it. It could mean having the ability to juggle more than one thing at a time, by which I mean, "woman." That's a type of strategic thinking we'd all be better off without.