Friday, 3 December 2010

A Nice Surprise, Apparently.

We have a surprise visitor today, shortly after surgery finishes. Andrew and Vicky are closeted in the Oprah Room, doing whatever it is that they do in there, and Greg and I are working away at our desks, when Trish walks in.

"Hi, guys," she says. "Thought I'd drop by and say hello."

Her eyes are going in all directions, and she looks awfully stressed. A bit like I do, actually.

"Hi," say Greg and I, simultaneously. Then we both fall silent.

"Where's Andrew?" says Trish. "Thought I'd surprise him and take him out for lunch."

I'm just about to answer, when there's a loud bump from the Oprah Room, followed by Vicky's piercing giggle.

"I recognise that voice," says Trish. "In here, is he? With Victoria?"

I reach the door just before Trish does, and knock very loudly before opening it.

"Andrew," I say. "Guess who's here! Your lovely wife."

Trish pushes past me, and I beat a hasty retreat.

"I'd like a word with my husband, Victoria," she says. "So if you wouldn't mind..."

"Oh," says Vicky. "I was just going to the loo anyway. To freshen up before I head home."

She comes stumbling out, clutching those stupid shoes, and slams the door behind her. Then she stalks straight out of the office - as well as you can stalk while barefoot.

As soon as she's gone, Greg and I put our ears to the door of the Oprah Room.

"Sod it," I say. "I still can't hear properly, thanks to Miss Bloody Chambers."

"I think they're talking in whispers anyway," says Greg. "Or hisses."

After about half an hour, Andrew and Trish come out, both looking rather flustered.

"Going to take my wife out for lunch," says The Boss. "Might go home after that, if you can manage without me?"

"Molly can manage anything, " says Trish. "As I shouldn't have to remind you."

I think she means that in a good way, so I feel a nice warm glow which lasts until she says,

"Anyway, Molly. Call me next week so that we can discuss that thing."

"What thing?" I say. So much for being able to manage any situation. I have no idea what she's talking about.

"You know - that thing." Trish winks, then continues: "Our discussion about what the staff would like for Christmas. I think Andrew needs to improve upon what he bought you last year, at least for his permanent staff."

"Oh, my mum thought he'd chosen well, " says Greg. "I gave her my copy of Cooking With Northwick Piccalilli. She a fan of keeping things local."

"Very commendable," says Trish. "If more people appreciated the value of what's available where we live, we'd all be better off. And there's nothing like a home-cooked meal - is there, Andrew?"

You've got to admire that woman's way with metaphor. Not to mention with flirty hair-flickers.


  1. Excellent - let's hope Vicky has stumbled out of the office for the final time.

    I have no idea how much of your blog is fact and how much is fiction - but it is ALL completely addictive. Please keep it up for all your loyal readers.

  2. I hope she has, too, though she is rather oblivious to social cues :-(

    Thanks for reading - very glad you enjoy the blog!