Tuesday, 3 August 2010

Parliamentary Protocol in Tatters Again, and Dad Makes a Bid for Sympathy.

The Boss is going to end up being named on the floor of the House again, if he keeps this up. He's taken on two more non-constituents' cases today - both completely bonkers. Actually, maybe the fact that these people are nuts will mean that their own MPs won't feel so inclined to complain about Andrew's latest breach of Parliamentary protocol*, so he'll get away with it this time. It's not as if we don't have enough constituents of our own, anyway - but he just can't resist the temptation to appear as if he is everyone's saviour. That's probably a personality disorder in its own right, especially now that we all have one, according to interpretations of the latest edition of the DSM.

I am still fretting about Mr and Mrs Cowan's case, as I haven't heard anything back from their bank yet, though I did make it clear how urgent the situation was. I decide to phone the manager, only to be told that he is going to send me a fax. When it arrives, I can't see why he bothered. All it says is that the bank has put the Cowan's account on hold, while awaiting the result of the Police investigation into the identity fraud. The manager suggests I contact the officer dealing with investigation, so I leave a voicemail on the Policeman's mobile and hope for the best. I must remember to start shredding tonight. And not just our old correspondence, either. There are parts of Max I am also tempted to cut into small strips.

In the evening, I get a reply from Dad. His email simply says, "Women never understand."

My reply is equally terse: "Women understand only too well."

Now I'll have to wait and see what his next move is.

It doesn't take long to find out. Dinah phones half an hour later.

"Why have you upset Dad?" she says.

"What d'you mean?" Now what has he said?

"Calling him Gary Glitter. Bit strong, wasn't it?" Dinah is not acting normal. She's usually the first to go ballistic about Dad's behaviour.

"Dinah, have you actually seen his holiday photos?"

"No. Why?"

"Just check your email in five minutes, and all will become clear."

Immediately after I forward Dad's pictures to her, Dinah sends me a text. It just says, "Holy shit!" I am vindicated. It'd be nice if that happened more often, actually.

I decide to spend the rest of the evening sorting out the paperwork, prior to my shredding-fest. I am staying out of Max's way, until I have decided if what he did was bad enough to merit my taking revenge by joining Johnny in the lap of luxury. Max is looking subdued, but pretending that everything is normal. I hate it when he does that. It always makes me look like the confrontational one. Same as Dad's version of the Gary Glitter story, now I come to think of it.

*Parliamentary protocol - see Page 3 of the document for an explanation of the convention that MPs do not interfere in issues raised by the constituents of other MPs. Not that this convention ever bothers The Boss.


  1. Ooh Good - can I send you some of my bonkers ones please? There's loads to choose from.

    Please, please don't blow out IDofGOC - I'm on tenterhooks waiting to hear all about it.

  2. Gawd - I don't want any more of 'em ;-) It's mind-blowing how many we all get, isn't it? What d'you reckon the percentage of bonkers to sane enquiries you get is?

    IDofGOC still on at the moment. Someone just said that Max's behaviour should be seen as in vino veritas.....so am feeling justified again. Mind you, suppose whether ID makes it depends on Russian fires to a degree!