Out Of Office Reply - Easter Office Closure, And Other Useful Information.

Thank you for contacting Andrew Sinclair, MP for Northwick East.

This office is now closed for the Easter break, and will re-open on Tuesday 26 April 2011, when (I am enormously relieved to report) Molly Bennett will also be returning to work after a long absence due to jury service.

I am sure that Molly will deal with your enquiry as quickly as she can, although she has asked me to point out that, due to the inconceivably vast number of issues raised while she has been away from the office, this may take some days to achieve.

However, Mr Sinclair would like me to assure you that Molly will be expected to work overtime to deal with the backlog of cases caused by her absence, and that he therefore expects service to return to its normal standard with almost immediate effect.

Molly herself is, as yet, unaware of this arrangement, but will, I am sure, be left with little option but to comply - particularly as I have no intention of helping her out. Not after she took so long to reach a verdict, while I had to deal with you lot single-handed. There is only so much that one man can be expected to cope with, after all.

Happy Easter, though if you could endeavour to stay out of trouble while celebrating it, I would be most grateful. This may involve exercising caution in terms of your alcohol intake; and your chocolate consumption (in case of incipient diabetes); and - in particular - with regard to the siting of any barbecues you may rashly decide to light too close to the boundary with your neighbour's garden.

Gregory Duke
Constituency Caseworker to Andrew Sinclair MP and unofficial secretary to Molly Bloody Bennett.