Josh Bennett - A Jack Bauer For Our Times, Plus How To Keep TV Licensing At Bay

It turns out that Josh and Robbie have become film-makers. They are making a series - a whole series - of films called, "24........Minutes." These are all to feature Josh Bennett as the Jack Bauer of Northwick. The weightlifting video was just the first of what is to come!

This is too horrible a thought to contemplate, especially if I want to retain any professional credibility at multi-agency meetings about anti-social behaviour, so I going to decide what to do about it as soon as I get some free time. At the moment, I've got too many other things to do, what with Greg still away at conference.

The usual suspects are still on Red Ed-fuelled form, and then there is Mr Warner. He is having a major problem with TV Licensing who, he says, refuse to accept that he does not own a television and have been "persecuting" him for the last two years.

I am initially inclined to take this with a pinch of salt, but he does sound exceptionally stressed about it, and says he is becoming fearful that officials will raid his home late at night. Apparently they just won't listen when he tells them that he has never owned a TV set in his life.

He's going to send me all the threatening correspondence he has received, so that I can work out what to do to help him. Once he's rung off, it occurs to me that it will be very difficult to show conclusively that he doesn't own a TV, so this case may end up being much more challenging than I first thought.

How do you prove a negative? Maybe I should suggest Mr Warner buys a cheap portable, then gets someone to film him chucking it into a bin. Then he'd have compelling evidence of his distaste for television. But wouldn't it be ridiculous to have to go to such lengths when your only crime is to choose not to own a TV set?

I used to fantasise about getting rid of ours, and God knows how often I threatened to throw it out of the window when the kids were younger and wouldn't do their homework.

I never dared go through with it, though - unlike Kishanda Fulford.* Mind you, she did own a lake, which made the whole process rather more spectacular than anything I could have hoped to achieve with only a tiny pond to aim for.

This whole thing just proves that you should have the courage to act upon your convictions. If I had followed Kishanda's lead, I probably would have avoided the need to deal with the consequences of being the mother of an anarchist film-maker with delusions of stardom. I shall advise Mr Warner accordingly.

*Kishanda Fulford, wife of Francis Fulford, whose family was featured in the 2004 Channel 4 documentary series, The F***ing Fulfords.