Greg's Helpful Contribution to International Relations

I was too cross about what happened when Greg and I went out last night to write about it at the time, not to mention too tired. I'm still really pissed off with him, though he is looking a bit shamefaced this morning, not to mention very hungover.

I feel surprisingly alert, though, which I can only ascribe to the adrenalin that went pounding through my body while we were being thrown out of the restaurant.

Suffice to say that now we are banned from The Star of India because Greg decided it would be funny to order an "Osama Balti" and a "Semtex Surprise."

God knows how we escaped with our lives. I was so embarrassed - and that's my favourite Indian too. Now I can't ever go there again, thanks to bloody Greg, who spent the rest of last night in a collapsed state on the couch in our living room, demanding to know how "any ordinary, educated, hardworking family" like mine could manage without Imodium in the medicine cabinet.

Luckily, Max was finding Greg funny. I wasn't, which is why I went to bed in disgust. I knew we shouldn't have had all that gin before we arrived at the restaurant.

Greg's being no help at all today, either, even though we're so behind on our work now, that it's going to be a nightmare trying to catch up. I do wish that TheyWorkForYou.com would acknowledge that, sometimes, delays in responding to constituents are unavoidable. Recording our response times is so horribly unforgiving.

Maybe I'll write to them and suggest that they start taking account of some of the challenges we face before they give us our ratings. After all, I bet even they couldn't write letters while being hosed down in a public place.

Honestly, I can't believe I thought this week was going to be bearable. It was next week I was dreading, when the full horror of Recess will be upon us but, now, joining Mr Ellis in a sky-dive is becoming more and more appealing - if he ever gets round to throwing himself off the multi-storey car park, that is.

Come to think of it, I probably should have suggested that he try a practice run while the bouncy castle was still there to provide a nice soft landing. Which is more than Greg got when the owner of The Star Of India pushed him out of the door last night.